I See You Now

Be an angel to someone else whenever you can, as a way of thanking God for the help your angel has given you.
~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994









During our lives we have been exposed to, are exposed to, and will be exposed to dealing with circumstances that may lead us to question WHY? WHY is this happening to me? WHY is this happening to my friend?

We see people truly suffer from serious health issues, an untimely death of a loved one, starvation, and severe disabilities to name a few. WHY we sometimes ask. And then, we pray. Maybe.

My cousin’s Pat and Lori were born one year apart, two and three years before me. Both were born with epidermolysis bullosa (EB). Epidermolysis bullosa (EB) is a rare genetic disease characterized by the presence of extremely fragile skin and recurrent blister formation, resulting from minor mechanical friction or trauma. An estimated 1 out of every 50,000 live births are affected with some type of EB. Our family never experienced this condition before.

I’ve heard my Uncle Ken and Aunt Joan were told their children probably would not live past the age of five due to the severity of the condition. That due to the blisters that would develop dehydration of the body was a major concern of the doctors and specialists.

Well, Pat and Lori lived well into their 30’s before their bodies just couldn’t hold up anymore, both passing away in the mid –90’s. As I reflect back, I see how the love of my Aunt Joan and Uncle Ken gave Pat & Lori the strength and mental toughness to accomplish what they did. Both graduated high school at the top of their class. Both had full-time jobs after school. And Pat spent some time as a broadcaster on Central Connecticut State Universities radio station.

I am sure no one will know the pains suffered, in the heart, the mind, and the body of another. No one will ever know what drives someone to get up every morning in pain, with blisters breaking, headed to work to prove he can do it but still feel ridicule from co-workers. Pat was a courageous man. I could write so much just on the courage of my cousins, especially Pat who I spent more time with. But, that story is for another day. Today I go back to the ‘WHY’.

‘WHY’ something happens or conditions exist, should lead us to ask the ‘HOW’ and ‘WHAT’. HOW do I respond to it and WHAT can I do. We may know someone in our community or family and see something catastrophic happen and ask WHY, ‘WHY THEM GOD?’ What good does that thinking really do? What we should be asking is ‘HOW I can help?’ the situation and ‘WHAT can I do?’

Do you look away from someone with a disability or look that person straight in the eye, smile and ask them how they are doing, treating them like everyone else? Do you know a neighbor whose house burned down, they lost everything, and you feel sorry for them wondering what they are going to do? Or do you do something to help them?

Life is a spiritual test. We encounter suffering regularly, some of us see it and act on it, some see it and ignore it, and other are blind to it.

How many times in my life have I been blind or ignored to someone's affliction where I could have opened my eyes and heart and reacted differently?

How I pray I am given the opportunities to act differently.

You see, I believe, that in our lives we are given the opportunity to show compassion. It’s not about feeling sorry or pity, but doing something, however small, in a way the suffering may be alleviated. It may be as little as moment where you bring a smile to someone’s face. That smile itself may make a difference in someone’s day.

As I look back on my cousins lives, and if I really feel the need to answer the WHY, it’s they suffered to make me a better person. Their purpose here was to allow our family the opportunity to be more compassionate and grow stronger. To teach us how a loving extended family and a few good friends can keep everyone strong. To teach me to treat everyone the same, regardless of their situation, and not feel sorry for them.

Opportunities present themselves to us everyday. Make yourself aware of them and act.

NOTE: My cousins, Pat and Lori, outside Fenway Park.